I’ve had long hair pretty much my whole life. I remember when I was young, maybe 4-5, I
could sit on my hair. So, I did have to
tilt my head back a little, but I could sit on it. I thought that was really
cool. The walk that led up to my parent’s
house had a couple of steps that were wide down by the road. It was the perfect place to see if you could
sit on your hair. I don’t remember when
my mom had my hair cut but it was still long after that. I just couldn’t sit on it.
But when I had my sick spell in September and pretty much
stayed in bed most of the time for 3 weeks, then in the hospital for days I was
getting a huge rat nest in the back part of my hair. On the days I actually even tried to brush my
hair, I would try to brush through this wad.
I never got through it, it pulled, I was too weak to really work on it
and truly, I didn’t care that much. I
would lightly, kind of brush over it, then felt it with my hand to see if I
made it any better. I know I didn’t, but
I would think, that’s better, and go back to bed. It was during this time that they found the
two lesions on my brain. They were going
to do the Gamma Knife Radiation and I had no clue what recovery would be like,
what would head scars, lesions look like, how long would I be in bed, on and on
and on.
Right after, I got out of the hospital for those few days,
we wanted to take the family out to eat.
While I knew that me lightly brushing my hair (not removing any rats
from their nest), patting my rats nest, thinking, oh, it looks better and going
back to bed was fine while I was at home.
I was not sure if PF Chang’s would see it the same way. I asked my granddaughter, Riley, 12, if they
could come over early so she could help me with my hair. Oh course, she said, “Yes”. I didn’t have detangler, so I had to ask Bob
to pick some up. If you know him or have
seen his pic, you will understand that him picking up detangler is a little
funny. He is bald on top and tries to
stay out of those hair care aisles. He
did a wonderful job though and bought detangler, that also is supposed to give
me big sexy hair. Bobby’s family all
came over, I had laid out all the sprays and utensils I thought Riley would
need. She began but made several
explanations about could this get done before our reservation, oh wow, grandma,
doesn’t this hurt, I am so sorry. Having
had long hair all my life, my head is pretty use to pulling. Bridget, my daughter-in-law came to see the
progress and said something like, “Oh, wow”.
So, she began to assist in this monumental task. Well, most of the tangles were removed, at
least to the PF Chang standard and we went off to dinner.
But as I thought about how this is going to be a long battle,
I thought what am I going to do. I had
gone to stay with Bobby while Bob left town for a few days for a race.
So, on Thursday, I asked Riley, if she would cut my
hair. Her eyes got big, really, really
big.
Riley said: “Grandma, I do not know
how to cut hair.”
Me: “I said, well, Riley, you do know how to cut hair, it is
hair.”
Bridget was in the kitchen during this conversation. I think her eyes got as big as Riley’s. Riley looked at her mother.
Bridget: “We can go to the salon.”
Me: “I said, No, I want Riley to cut my hair. “
Riley, with the cutest smile on her face, was still quite
adamant that she couldn’t cut my hair.
Riley: “Grandma, your hair is so pretty. “
Me: “Riley, you helped my get those rat nests out of my hair
and I do not know what this brain surgery is going to do, and I need to cut my
hair. I would like you to do that.”
We pretty much left it there for right then.
The next day, Friday, I broached the subject again.
Me: “I still want you to cut my hair. I need to get it cut and you are the only one
that I would want to do that.”
Riley: “What if it is not straight”?
Me: “You know I don’t care about that. I am not going to walk in on Thursday for my
brain surgery and they say “Maam, I am sorry, we cannot do your surgery today,
your hair cut is crooked. But I need
your help to make sure I can take care of it after the surgery.”
Reluctantly then, she agreed to cut my hair.
Later that day she had a plan.
Riley: “I can braid your hair then cut it or I could put it
in a ponytail and then cut it.”
Me: “I don’t care which way.
You just figure out how you want to cut it and then we’ll do it. “
The whole time her eyes would be really big. Sometime on Friday she had her plan
together. Saturday morning, Bob and
Bridget would be transporting boys from event to event staying at those events
and then coming home. Riley and I would
be home alone, and she would cut my hair.
We also knew we wanted to try to capture this lofty occasion on her
phone.
Saturday morning when we were there alone, she set up her
area. Sheet on the floor, place chair,
another sheet for around my shoulders, small table next to her, comb, mirror, shears
(not hair scissors) at the ready. Her
phone was propped by a bunch of bananas.
As she combed my hair before starting, she said: “Oh
grandma, you have a rainbow in your hair.”
I said, “Riley, that is my white hair.”
Riley said, “Oh no, this is definitely a rainbow. The light coming in through their windows had
indeed put a rainbow on my hair. I said,
“Riley, that is only God showing me that you are my little pot of gold.”
She put my hair in a hair band and then would gently tug on
my ponytail to pull the hair down. Then she would giggle, let go of my hair and
do a little dance. This happened a
couple times, then she had gotten up her nerve.
She pulled down on the ponytail and began to cut. My hair is very thick, so she really had to
work the scissors. She would say things
like, can’t you feel that, oh, I can’t believe I am cutting your hair. There’s always a little giggle in her
talk. When she had cut away, all my hair
had stayed in the ponytail holder and she took that ponytail and was dancing
around the room saying, “I can’t believe I just cut my grandma’s hair. Oh, my goodness, I just cut my grandma’s hair.”
Finally, she made her way around to the front of me and kind of screamed, “It
looks so good”. She handed me the mirror
and asked what I thought. It looked
beautiful, perfect, amazing. I really
was never afraid of what the cut would look like. That wasn’t what this was about at all. I could have afforded to go to any salon I
wanted. That wasn’t what this was about
at all.
Bridget came home and wanted to see the haircut. We said just a minute and Riley took the
sheet from my shoulders and placed it over my head. This was going to be a big reveal. Riley was in charge. She placed her mother where she could get the
best view and then Riley removed the sheet.
Bridget started screaming, “It looks so good, it looks so good.” She reminded me of Riley, with the giggle in
her voice.
Well, my hair did look good, everyone agrees, especially
me. My son, just stopped and said, “I
have never seen your hair that short.”
Later he did tell Riley what a wonderful job she did. The boys also, thought it looked really good
and that it made me look younger. Have I
told you I have the smartest grandkids ever?
As the day went on, several times I would be standing by the counter and
Riley would walk by and say, “Grandma don’t move.” She ran into the other room came back with
the scissors, snip a hair or two and say, “It was a little crooked.”
This could not have gone better. I really wanted this experience with Riley. This is something, I would have done with my mother. I wanted this as a memory, maybe at some point when I am sick in bed, and I wanted Riley to have this memory in her heart of our hair cut morning. I also wanted her to know that I trusted her. And after hearing her initial comments of “I can’t do that” I wanted her to know that yes, she could. That the next time she thinks she is not capable of doing something, that she might, think about this day and say, “I can do that.” As a nurse, I had a mentor that was an amazing surgeon, that saved kids’ lives in ways that were not common then. He had great belief in me and my abilities. Many things I accomplished in my health care career were because I would say to myself, If Dr. Philippart thinks I can do this, I can do this. And I would. I wanted Riley to have that same feeling as she goes through her life and when she comes up against something that she thinks is too hard or impossible for her to accomplish, that in her heart she will say, “My Grandma thinks I can do this, and I will.”
God, Am I Coming or Going? 